Sometimes, your mind decides to go wandering and explore possibilities you never expect to act on. And then it begins linking these random possibilities together. Monday I spent hours on a train gazing out of the window when mine started aimlessly tossing out suggestions. My reflection in the train window was looking at me and I hardly recognised it. One day I will have to move, the stairs will get too much, the house needs work, no cash to do work, never will have cash, who has these days?, no way of getting more cash, nearing end of working life, would have loved to travel more, don’t suppose I ever will now, every day I get older, what I do today could be impossible next year, wish I could stop work now, have a couple of years before retirement, what if I use up my last few good years working……………………………..The mind does one of those extraordinary flips and says , sell the house, spend every penny, travel till it runs out, then rent something cheap for rest of days…………………Then train stops, I reign in mind and get off.
Today, Wednesday, just two days later, I’m woken by a phone call from one of my best friends, she has been called back from her holiday by the police to identify the body of her sister. Her sister was about 45. I’m pretty shocked and can’t go back to sleep so sign on here, I read about Sugar, the lady who has been so ill for so long, it will all be over for her soon. Sometimes you understand the temporary nature of our existence, our mortality is real, and sometimes so very, very sad. My friend is going through hell, friends and family of Sugar must be suffering terribly.
Ok…………….so maybe the rambling mind had a point. Life is for living. Could international back packer become exploring granny with shopping trolley? I suppose this is just my mind taking its daily exercise again, but ...................
goodness, it all *does* eventually get to that point, doesn't it? i suppose one never really does know what tomorrow is going to bring. the waning moon does seem to bring these sorts of introspections to the forefront. i am so very sorry to hear about your friend's sister....how awful! HUGS to you, my dear friend.
ReplyDeleteThese same thoughts have been running through my mind lately. I have been trying to get my husband to retire, so he can relax and enjoy life while he still can. If only none of us had to worry or think about our finances.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your friend's sister. And I just learned about Sugar yesterday. It truly makes me sad.
It's good to exercise the mind Loretta. And let it wander from time to time..........
Wow - I need to think on this. I retired (and was lucky to be able to do so) in my late 50's for this reason. All the walking you do, I think you will have many years before you need a rocking chair. I am so sorry about your friend's sister and Sugar, whom I did not know. But from everything I have seen from you, you are living your "now" life to the fullest and I admire you for that.
ReplyDeleteDoes get me to thinking though - maybe I need to find some things to do here in my town to spice up my life a bit more. Instead of cleaning the kitchen.
as it's said... life is short so life is for the living..... I like where you are going with your thoughts..... can't wait to hear if the 'hippie child' makes a reappearance...... somehow if she does, bet she lives a longer and fuller life..... everything else is just weight..... ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhere there's a will, there's a way, but one does want to carefully examine motivations, expectations.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the mind musing or 'what if' mind games that we drift into. Aging seems to have the edge on that, but not necessarily full ownership.
ReplyDelete"The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened." -- Saki
For me, I know that it is not so much what I didn't get to do, but that I didn't take full advantage of what I did get to do.
Retirement isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Thinking of it as the beginning of a new cycle, rather than the end of our productive and earning cycle, opens up some creative possibilities. Most importantly, doing things on ones own schedule, not at a set daily work schedule.
Perhaps the key is to do something new with the thoughts, rather than thinking of them as the end of an era. The most helpful thing for me was to put thoughts, e.g. travel, in perspective. Separating the dreams of my youth from my wants of today did help narrow the playing field, or the 'musing pool'. I was musing about my old dreams and perhaps lost opportunities, with the expectations of a young body and mind. There is a lot to be said for keeping it real and current. Personally, I find that those imaginings become less frustrating.
My mind's always wandering. Luckily, I guess, when I bought my flat, I was just getting over a bad sprained ankle, so I knew I wouldn't be able to negotiate a lot of steps and, believe me, Spanish architects are obsessed with stairs. I live on the ground floor and there are only three steps for me to climb and I don't need to rely on a lift. One of my friends lives on the 6th floor. When you enter the building, you have to go up some steps to an interior door and then go up some more steps and then down some steps and finally there's the lift, which one day I found broken. I'll never understand why you always have to go up steps and then down steps to get to a place here.
ReplyDeleteLife is indeed short Loretta, and if you want to travel, go for it! Working in education with long holidays means you can start with shorter trips and build up from there........ motivations and expectations seem to be based on curiosity and a zest for life, you are an inspiration to me and I say, go for it if that is what your heart wants to do!!
ReplyDeleteSending love & peace to your friend for her loss.
Bright Blessings
Couldn't agree more as with what DJ just said....
ReplyDeletesometimes i wish my mind had an "off" switch
ReplyDelete:)
interesting that you had these thoughts while on a train - there's connectivity also with the activity of travelling. Funny how life changes - and can change, almost suddenly. Sometimes all I personally think of is 'one day at at time'.
ReplyDeleteI think that people work hard to maintain stability/security when everything in this world tends to move very quickly; it's a fast-paced world. Also, I have considered that there are people who would otherwise take a different path, or approach, to life if they could think outside what they generally know and to understand how a desire could be fulfilled practically. Many things take money.
Wishing love and blessings for your friend and family. We create huge challenges for ourselves sometimes, but often life is joyfully simple. Words for me to remember as well. Thanks for sharing really good stuff!
ReplyDelete:)
xox
Ingy
“Accept everything about yourself--I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end--no apologies, no regrets.”
ReplyDeleteHenry Kissinger
I like this....and you remind me of this quote. You are always an inspiration. I cannot in all honesty say I have no regrets...that would be a difficult task. But all in all it hasn't been bad and I always look to the future. Albeit in a single story home. lol